FOUND IN MY ‘DRAFTS’ FOLDER. MUST HAVE BEEN WRITTEN ABOUT AUGUST 2007, since Gemma was born in May of that year and I reference her…
All women’s magazines recycle the “balance” topic. HOW TO GET IT is the million-dollar question. And it really doesn’t seem to be about how to balance the things we need to balance, but it’s more like how can I balance everything I want right now because I want/am doing a lot of stuff.
Balance is bunk. If we were living our true lives, our true calling alone – we’d look really lopsided to everyone who is trying to cram lots of other stuff in. Should any of the following be focused on balance?:
- The mother of a newborn
- A bride
- A groom
- The teacher your kids spend the majority of their days with
- The dentist drilling my teeth
- The doctor installing a pace-maker into the chest of my brother who is too young for this
- The emergency team that revived him as his heart stopped repeatedly, while I sat at home, hundreds of miles away not even knowing his body was trying die over and over
I’ve pondered the workload of the mother of a newborn recently as I have watched my daughter, Stephanie, with hers. How could Stephanie say to 3-month-old Gemma, “You’re really too clingy for me. I enjoy our time together, but you are taking more of youre fair share these days. I have 2 other kids, you know.”? No way! When you have a newborn, they get an inordinate amount of your time. It’s the choice that must be made by the times at hand. The manicure may fall by the wayside, the “me” time may get put off for a year…or two…eighteen? The newborn days are fleeting, we’ll miss them if we are trying to balance everything – have everything we want in life at the same time, in some measurable proportion.
Maybe the key is to be where you are, in the moment?
For instance, newlyweds should, in my opinion, be having inordinate amounts of love-making even to the exclusion of familial and friendship relationships, actually. When my kids marry, I miss them, but I try to stay out of the way while they enjoy being newlyweds. It is a time for delight and joy and growing together. Careers and sleepless nights with babies and mortagages will take their toll soon enough. They should not even attempt balance. They should raucously enjoy each other – unapologetically. Are there other things they should be thinking of? They’ll get there eventually.
So, exactly – where are you right now? What pulls at your heart above all else? Jump on the balance-scales with gusto and let the guilt baggage fly!
A little off-balanced… Jeanie
NOTE TO SELF: I don’t like half-hearted, middle of the road, medium-density anything, anyway.
2 thoughts on “A “Balanced Life?” Poo-ey”
Funny that you should post on this topic. It’s one that’s been on my heart a lot in the past year. I’m a busy girl. Really. BUSY. With a capital B, U, S, and Y. I’ve been a career woman, a ladder climber, working in corporate America with a gusto I can’t even explain.
This past year, though, life has come into clear focus for me. My kids are growing at a rate that makes my memories of them as tiny ones blur together. They’re older, and often more fun than they were before they had the gift of language and the ability to button their own buttons. But I find myself longing for earlier days sometimes, or maybe just for time to slow down a little. I miss the glider rocker and the smell of sweet baby’s breath on my cheek. I miss the deep giggles, and laughter with abandon. I miss chubby arms around my neck, being the boo-boo kisser, and the knower of all there is to be known.
This past year, as I watched them grow up, and grow wiser, funnier, busier, more sophisticated, I feared I might miss too much, lose too many glimpses into this amazing process of growing. While I’ve always worked towards balance, it was time to tip the scales toward home. I shifted my focus, and it’s been so very rewarding.
Balance, schmalance, I say. Sometimes unbalanced is best. :)
And I know without a doubt you have chosen the best thing. The most Important, capitalized on purpose! :)