Happy Mother's Day to my Mom –
I love you, mamala! I love you bunches. I love you because you first loved me and gave a lot of your life for me (not as much as Jesus, of course, but a lot).
There are so many things about you I wish I had gotten:
- your jawline and facial features…can you leave those to me in your will?
- your ability to love church people, and churchy people even when and especially when they didn't deserve it.
- Your refusal to accept offense and let it live in your heart. You are, above all, the most forgiving person I have ever met.
- your sense of joy at simple things, like a bird on the fence or a butterfly in your garden
- your compassion and mercy and how you always, without fail, believe the best about people, even when the evidence says otherwise
- You are guileless. You are absolutely without guile.
But then are things I got from you I wish I hadn't:
- fear that there won't be enough money for steak. I laugh as I write that even now – remembering all the times I watched you struggling to balance the budget, telling me, "There isn't going to be steak for awhile." And though we ate very well at every single meal, thank-you very much, I kept waiting for the night we'd come around the table to…nothing. It never happened, but I have a really strong love of steak meals, which I think may have come from that.
- your poor eyesight and EEE-wide feet
- your penchant for inventing your own set of cuss words like "oh, crap-a-dap!" When I now say, "Oh, blast!" Or "boogers!" People ask, "Why don't you just go ahead and cuss?" To which I reply, "Oh-I am!"
But I am so glad that I got these things and I learned this stuff from you, mom:
- the first 2 words I ever knew how to spell: Bible, from the song, "The B-I-B-L-E," and salvation from the song, "Oh You Can't Get to Heaven without S-A-L-V-A-T-I-O-N"
- my first taste of longing for heaven when I was like 3 or 4
- country music, my dark secret is that I do love it
- good family photos, the ones you've given me and my desire to collect and create more
- lots and lots and lots of family photos – if one is good, 342 (of the same event!!) is better
- how to be my kids' biggest fan (you are thoroughly enthralled by every single one of your children, honestly and truly head-over-heels-enthralled)
- that a good letter, written by hand and sent in the mail, is a treasure from your heart to the recipient
- your example as a wife
- God is all, trust Him
The transition in relationship from the mom who raised me to the mom who is the woman I most admire and trust above all in the world came when I opened the card you tucked into my hand just before I boarded a plane in November of 1978, after coming home to tell you the hardest thing I ever had to tell you and I read this message: "I want you to know, your hurts and your troubles are my own." I hold that thought in my heart. It has en-couraged (literally put courage in to) me many, many days of my life since then.
I love you, mamala! Happy, blessed Mother's Day to you, the best of them all!…Jeanie
NOTE TO SELF: Write and mail more letters to my mommy.