I was once a mommy. Then the babies grew up. Now, I'm "mom." I raised 5 kids and lived to tell about it, I like to joke. Then some of my kids made me a "Grandmother!" How royal, how regal.
Tara and Dave gave me Hunter. Stephanie and Tristan have given me Gavin and Guinivere and Gemma. Most recently, Rocky and Jovan presented me with Averi. I am so blessed. And grandparenting is truly the reward, the great gift of God as age chases us down. The grandbabies are the spring of new life as you enter your second half.
Oddly enough, I'm still working on the mom thing. Everytime you think you have it figured out, the relationship evolves and changes and you have to learn all over again. I look at Tara and Stephanie and Jovan and they each have such unique qualities and are so much better at mothering than I ever was. How did they know how to do it so well?
Stephanie is the picture of calm and gentle. She disciplines with such grace and love, with quiet confidence. Tara has devoted so much time and creativity to Hunter, providing such a wide range of experience to him. Jovan's face when people ask her how she likes being a new mom is a vision, as she almost becomes speechless saying, "I love it so much, words can't even express.." and looks adoringly at the baby in her arms.
If I had it to do over, I'd be so much better at being a mom just from the things I've seen in these women, my daughters.
But, let us not be melancholy. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I think all moms should honor their children on that day because we couldn't be moms without them! So to Tara and Stephanie, to Tredessa, Rocky and Stormie, thanks for letting me be your mom when you were born, as you grew and especially now, as I continue to learn how to do it right with adult kids. And thanks for the people you've brought on board, additions to my collection: husbands, wife and grandkids. I love the whole kit-and-kaboodle of you.
So, on mothering adult children, I'd like to share a scene from the cheesy overbearing-mother-movie, "Because I Said So" where Daphne Wilder (Diane Keaton) gives this explanation for her hovering, smothering, meddling behavior when her daughters were telling her she had to change (Diane Keaton alternates between crying and whining to screaming and freaking out; it is the best scene in the movie besides the really cool cakes they show):
"Fine, but I just want you girls to understand some things about motherhood. OK? OK? I mean it is THE most impossible love. You tell me when it ends? You tell me when it stops? All I know is – it's absolutely fine for me to teach you how to walk and talk and then you grow up and you head off in the wrong direction toward a cliff and I'm suppose to just stand there and wave and go, 'Well, kids, good luck, it's mom, I'm here,' WELL I CAN'T DO THAT! What am I supposed to do, huh? Am I just suppose to put my feet up at the end of the day and say to myself, 'Well, you know, they're on their own and she says she's fine, ' WELL YOU WON'T BE!"
I hope I am not that bad! Ha!
Happy Mothers Day to my kids 'cuz you made me one…MOM
NOTE TO SELF: Don't meddle.