Murder and Mayhem in the Magic Kingdom

A one week vacation and I return to overgrown zinnia and the zucchini popping out offspring like there was no tomorrow.  Enough of this tom-foolery!

Yes.  I was blessed to retreat on Cozumel, isla de Mexico for a week.  I left Stormie in charge, a very good and responsible daughter, to water and gather the harvest in my absence.  Naturally, she was more than dependable and asked me if I’d found the garden to my liking.  To the naked eye I could see that things had grown a little too exuberantly lacking my firm direction, yet all seemed to be thriving.

But upon closer inspection, as I visited with rain-water sprinkler-wand in hand, I saw that true crime had been committed right in my own backyard: devious, wretched space-stealing, food-gobbling and in at least one instance: murder.  My investigation will continue this week.

The Squatter Sunflower

For one thing, that big-headed squatter of a sunflower (of whom I have already spoken of HERE, exposing his deliberately bold and bullyish ways) is not only haughtily looking down on my garden from the space he just decided to plop into {where, you’ll remember, he lured an innocent and dainty lemon cucumber plant to jump from her own area straight up his stalk},  but he has now become best buddies with my Burpee Big Boy Tomato, as well.  He is certainly taking liberties that only the garden’s Queen (me) should be allowed to exercise.  Preliminary attempts to reign him in are going unheeded.  I may have to get very tough.


See the yellow cucumber flowers?  Up, up, up they go.  And now the tomato is leaning on this brazen sunflower as well!  Sunflower is about 8 feet tall now.  *sigh…

Discovery Investigation: My garden gets hit.

Further around the garden I saw my  Spicy Banana Pepper had been feasted upon by some devouring insect or another.  Every leaf:  gone.  A lone pepper remaining and the stalk green as ever, but stripped naked of her green garments.  Quite disheartening to say the least.  I suspect that foul band of tobacco-chewing grasshoppers in this assault.

And can you believe that powdery mildew descended upon my most ornamental spaghetti squash while I was gone as well?   She went gray overnight – the stress of my absence likely the cause.  Just as well.  That particular spaghetti squash and the zucchini sharing her bale had actually been plotting against me to take over the entire south yard.  This will give them some humility!  They are flowering and fruiting quite feverishly, to cover their shame, no doubt.  Yet I, full of mercy, tended gently to them anyway this morning.

Unsolved Mysteries

But the real mystery was my Sea-Breeze Erigeron, a sort of vining daisy in the big pot near my back door.  I noticed the purple sweet potato looking pretty self-satisfied, quite ornamented and very rosy.  Little pink flowers were popping out and she seemed dressed to the nines in deep colored foliage.  I almost didn’t notice…but then I stopped.  I parted the sweet potato vines and there she was:  my erigeron.  Fully dead.  Fully overcome.  I checked for signs of life but rigor-mortise had already set in and she was completely brown and crunchy.  Sweet potato claims no knowledge and the pot wasn’t dried out.  The mystery remains…


Wrestling baby zucchini from the King in the Back Forty (feet) square this morning I once again look like I was attacked in a back alley, having had a brief reprive from unscathed arms during my time on the isla….

But o, backyard garden, I did miss you so.  Thank you for all the love {and deliciousness} upon my return….

And thank-you Stormie {sweet, gentle, phlegmatic daughter…remember, sweet-pea ~ we do have dominion in the garden!} for tending to my wild kingdom!

How many old TV shows did I reference?

4 thoughts on “Murder and Mayhem in the Magic Kingdom

  1. Usually I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this article really forced me to do so! Thanks, really nice article.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *