To my friend-
You need the chance to mourn. You need the opportunity to acknowledge a profound loss. Your torn heart-flesh needs repair and healing.
It is good to admit and confess our sin, repentance is necessary. But it is better still to receive the loving forgiveness of a Savior who bled to give that forgiveness. His blood is enough. His blood covers you. The blood of Jesus covers your sin, my sweet friend. The blood of Jesus cleanses you, woman called and loved, the blood of Jesus cleanses you. The blood of Jesus is enough.
So, There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death.
Mourn. Cry. Remember. Repent. Let God heal you.
But don’t ever let the enemy of your soul condemn you because it will cause pain and distance in your family and relationships which can never be understood. It will cause a fragmenting of your true self and cause you to hate God’s creation – you.
I would venture God is at work in you for healing. To fully avail yourself will mean facing it and walking it through, but there, just beyond the forest awaits a peaceful meadow of the love of God. I encourage you to press in even if it hurts, even if it requires transparency and confession. You will feel it until you think it will kill you, and then it will, but as you hang on the cross of dying to self, dying to self-protection, dying to pride and hiddenness, shame and guilt, and dying to the fear of man, you’ll find life. Take a breath. Life.
I truly suspect God wants to set you free because you are a key to setting others free. I wholly believe this is a word from the Lord for you.
You honor me by allowing me to know so I can pray. I have you in my heart…Jeanie
Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you now?
No one, Master
Then, neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave sin behind.
Leave it behind. Leave it.