Remembering

How we remember is as important as what we remember.”  -Brent Curtis and John Eldredge in The Sacred Romance

“We view the present through the pasts glasses,”  -P. Arnold

Viewing the past through the chosen treasure of my heart rather than making a list, checking it twice just so I can remember who was naughty or nice…

I don’t have room in my head for everything.  For most of my life I had a “continuing -calendar” in my head.  You could name a date in my history and I could scroll backwards and tell you, because I could actually “see it” in my mind,  what day on which that date occurred, as well as related events and things that stood out from the time surrounding it.  I remembered every telephone number I’d ever had, addresses including zip codes (and if you know my moving history, you know this was quite a feat) and remembered birthdays and anniversaries for every relative we had, even “in-laws.”

Then I crashed.  I had a system blow-out.  The hard-drive in my brain fried.  My RAM was so full it exploded.  2006.  I became an unwilling recipient of a brain-erase, kinda like “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” but also sort of an emotional lobotomy.  It wasn’t pretty.  I didn’t want it.

I couldn’t keep it all, so I had to choose.

I started a trek to retrieve my lost memories: the good ones, the treasures, the fine times, the blessings.  Because keeping a record of absolutely-everything had caused me to melt-down, lose my way, hurt people and feel sick – literally sick.  I have to remember to remember blessing sometimes.  I have to be reminded to recall the good things, the rich, the treasure. 

The ways I want choose to remember:

1.

I HAVE TO REMEMBER With my eyes fixed on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of my faith.  He endured and I can endure, too {all things}, for the joy set before me.  For all the ways I have failed and sabotaged His call on my life, He has a plan to bring me out and set me right.  He is my Story-Writer, my Author.  He knows the whole plot-line of my life and it isn’t finished until He says so.  He will finish my story – I can’t wait to turn the page!

2.

I CHOOSE TO REMEMBER For the joy set before me.  There is life ahead (as there has been so much to be thankful for already!), there is laughter to be shared.  If I look back in sorrow I will miss the present.  The present is a gift.  So, I look back long enough to catch glimpses of the people who still matter and see that we have so much more ahead for us.  I joy in the God of my salvation and thank Him for all He has done and I go forward in that strength.

3.

I HAVE TO REMEMBER LIKE A GROWN-UP… because when I was a child, I thought and acted like a child…but now that I have put away childish things, I can see and understand the past more clearly, with the wisdom of years, with understanding and a heck of a lot more grace.  I can see that my reactions to some things of the past had some immaturity and needed to be readjusted in my heart.  I can, as a grown-up, let some people off the hook, now.  It frees both them and me.

4.

I WILL REMEMBER Redemptively – as part of the good work God started in us, which He is being faithful to complete.  There is a whole love story being played out.  I love seeing how God is able to use the sometimes-shattered fragments of my broken life to create a whole, cool thing.  Redemption is awesome.

5.

I WANT TO REMEMBER Aware of the accuser’s distortions of truth, careful to hear the Voice ( “My sheep know my voice”).  Some memories are torment.  I am asking the Lord to give me clear vision to see when the Accuser has used the past to cripple my present.  And to show me what He was seeing when all seemed lost…

6.

I AM COMMITTED TO REMEMBER so that the LORD might be glorified {the prayer God always answers}!  He is all, everything and I want my life and my memories to bring Him glory.  May He be glorified in my story…

NOTE TO SELF:  Choose to remember the faithfulness of God, the love, the people I can’t live without, the blessings, the miracles, and see even the pain and disappointments with gratefulness for their part in my redemptive story.  And remember, too, that He is the Author and the Finisher of my faith-story.  We’re just somewhere in the middle.  The ending is going to be fabulous!   (Make this a repetitive reminder on my life’s calendar from now until….let’s see…I get to heaven!)

~oooooo~

“…It’s the laughter we will remember, whenever we remember, the way we were…”

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