Houzz had the BEST article today (by Alison Hodgson, my FAV writer there). It’s about “How to Build Your Housekeeping Muscle,” but honestly – it is just a great perspective on how to develop your abilities at anything you might find perplexing.
She shares an example of a man who has loaned lots of money to friends and relatives over the years and how he isn’t bothered by it because he just sees himself as some one who is really good at saving money, as in “skilled at it.” His viewpoint took something we usually judge others about and turns not being very good at handling money from being some irreparable character flaw (the writer’s profound revelation about this totally hit me) in them as people ~ to something we can, with a little effort, actually become skilled in ~ whether that includes housekeeping, or managing a budget well, or making new friends, or good communication, getting fit or whatever it is that perhaps has been pointed out to us as being a weakness or imperfection calling our very value into question.
While we are often quick to judge other people harshly for what we see as a major character impairment, a proof of a lack of development in who they should be as a person (#don’taskmehowIknow), maybe they are just good people who have not yet developed skills in certain areas – just. like. us.
I won’t tell on myself, but…
My mom was the most “distracted” housekeeper on the planet, which drove my perfectionist dad up the proverbial wall and caused him to rule the roost by making endless, demanding lists of to-do for every member of the family. Even after I was married, and moved hundreds of miles away, when we came for a visit, I was given a list! OH-Yes, he did! :) It’s an honor for me now, to get to be helpful to my parents, but in my early 20s I was probably pretty incredulous. Haha.
Now, my dad is known to be highly competent and get-things-done-well NOW! and I like that. He is a high-capacity leader, a pastor trusted for high-impact ministry and church growth. But my mom is also known ~ as the woman who makes him bearable. She is without guile in any way, so loving and non-judgemental. She can make a lifelong-wholly-devoted friend from the most snarky and committed enemy.
There were church ladies and relatives who judged my mom’s housekeeping as inferior, but her character: above reproach. There is not a person in the world who doesn’t want to be around her because of how she cheers them on and showers them with love. Over time, she learned to follow my dad’s “guidance” and keeps a lovely home. But she wasn’t born that way and she is in NO WAY deficient in her character!
It is interesting, I think, how we like to compare some one else’s weakness in skill against our own strength as though it automatically makes them flawed. Or we do it to ourselves, thinking, “I wish I weren’t so awful at ______,” feeling doomed forever by some label (“I’m the messy one,” or “I’m the one who can’t do _____,” or “I’m the clumsy one,” etc).
So, the article:: This was just so thought-provoking to me, I wanted to thank Alison Hodgson and share it here. Hope it gets you thinking, too, and giving yourself and others GRACE and great hope for the future. Just simple tips to follow to get the skill you need to strengthen the area you feel condemned about, housekeeping or whatever else.
It is never too late to become the person you might have been…or to develop a skill that will help you to the end!
Your character is fine, you’re no villain or person of lack and nonsense. You just need to adjust a bit. Read these great tips! Get hope!