Tag Archives: 3 Love & Marriage

Miss you, babe

I miss you.

Twenty-eight years of you and still, I have not had my fill.  You are only across the state, but it seems just as far as if you were across the ocean.

The evening is perfect.  If you were here you’d make me quit working to join you on the swing. 

Thank-you for stocking the fridge for me and filling up my tank and for your help on my projects before you left and for marrying me 28 years ago. 

I miss you, babe.  I’d marry you all over again, too.  xxxooo.

50 Reasons Dave was born

This is installment #3 of Dave’s birthday blogs.  See 50 Things I Love about Dave here.  See 50 Words that Describe Dave here.

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  1. To meet me.
  2. To love me.
  3. To marry me – be my husband.
  4. To change my life forever.
  5. To have lots of babies with me.
  6. Tara…and Dave (DP)
  7. Stephanie…and Tristan
  8. Tredessa…and ?
  9. Rocky…and Jovan
  10. Stormie…and ?
  11. For all the grandkids we’d share…The amazing grandkids:
  12. Gavin – anything Grandpa does, Gavin wants to do!
  13. Hunter – can keep Poppa talking about anything and everything all. day. long!
  14. Guini – “again!  again!”  If one twirl in the air good, 2 will be fantastic!
  15. Gemma – pointing out to us everything in life that is funny.
  16. Averi – Poppa’s dimples and cheeks!
  17. And all the grandchildren to come and great-grandchildren and the husbands we will add through Tredessa and Stormie…we are increasing!
  18. He was born because God is good.
  19. Because of a summer teen fling in the Heartland.
  20. Because the birth mother (who was really just a girl) chose life.
  21. Because the Rhoades family still had family love to share.
  22. Because Garry & Dale needed a little brother.
  23. Because Sandra and Sharon did, too.
  24. Because Debbie would need a big brother when the time came.
  25. Because Dad Rhoades had stories to tell and Dave had the heart to listen.
  26. Because worship teams would need a drummer.
  27. Because churches would need a pastor.
  28. Because people would need to be led beside quiet waters.
  29. To bring peace to any situation.
  30. To teach peace and live peace.
  31. To teach me the strength and power of gentleness, the value of just being nice.
  32. To bless people.  When he prays God’s blessings-he knows what that means.
  33. There are stories to be told.
  34. Stephen King won’t live forever.
  35. The grandkids need their crazy-cool-swingset-playset-climbing apparatus.
  36. There are daughters to walk down the aisle.
  37. The world needs more twinkling Christmas lights and Christmas spirit.
  38. To leave a legacy of godly fathering.
  39. To leave a legacy of the faithfulness of God.
  40. To equip our children for all that lies ahead.
  41. To be an example as a godly man.
  42. To make a place for worship and for the One we worship.
  43. To worship the One.
  44. To own everything you could possibly need for absolutely anything and be able to keep it all in one 3-car garage.
  45. There are still passionate kisses to be kissed, hands to hold, love to be made.
  46. For indulging my ideas and new projects, all the while tempering me.
  47. To make toys and play GI Joe with the kids and put up the pool  every summer.
  48. To dig the deep holes for my garden.
  49. Because no one else can pack like he does.  A suitcase, the trunk, whatever…
  50. As proof that God is good.

Dave turns 50 on the 23rd.  You can leave him a birthday comment here or send one to: dave@daverhoades.com

pictured:  Dave and I at a backyard soiree last fall (yes, I cut Bryan out of the picture!).  I love Dave in his Latino-lover Western-Mexican snap shirt (from Stormie), though he is always timid wearing it, fearing people will really think he is trying to be a Latino-lover, which…he is. Really one.  Not ‘trying’.  *smile…

50 Things I Love about Dave

  1. His squinty eyes (that nearly disappear when he smiles).
  2. His brown skin.
  3. His deep dimples.
  4. His pearly white smile.
  5. His black, shiny hair.
  6. His hands.
  7. His broad shoulders.
  8. The way he can coax me out of grumpiness.
  9. All the private jokes we share.
  10. His never-ending movie-knowledge.
  11. He builds.
  12. He paints (art).
  13. He acts.
  14. He sings.
  15. He writes.
  16. He kisses really, really well.  He is just such a good kisser.
  17. The foot rubs, omygosh, the foot rubs!…!
  18. He gets me, and I am pretty un-gettable.
  19. He lets me choose the movies I want to watch.
  20. He is not threatened by chick-flicks because he understands the rewards of seeing them with me.
  21. He lets me choose the restaurants I want to go to.
  22. He cooks for me. 
  23. He knows when I just cannot face the kitchen and he feeds me food to soothe my soul.
  24. He buys me junk food even when I have sworn off of it and hides it until I really need it.
  25. He stashes candy bars around for emergency chocolate fixes.
  26. He secretly charts my months and knows exactly when to appease me entirely.  This is an art!
  27. His hugs, my safe place.
  28. Sleeping snuggled to his arm and shoulder, my other safe place.
  29. The backrubs (though he stinks at back-scratching, I am sorry to say).
  30. He washes my clothes and hangs them before they have a chance to wrinkle!
  31. He organizes my closet – by color!
  32. He plays with my hair while we watch TV.
  33. He threw out that shirt I hated!
  34. He was a we’re-in-this-thing-together kind of dad.  He never “babysat” our kids – he daddy’ed them!
  35. He changed as many diapers as I did.
  36. There wasn’t ever, ever: it’s-your-turn-with-the-kids, because it was always all of us together ~ a family.
  37. He loves me.
  38. He loves his family.
  39. He is the most loyal man I have ever known.
  40. He would do anything, lay down anything, pay any amount of money for me or our kids.
  41. When I was pregnant, he never let me vacuum or do laundry.  Sometimes we still play that game!  Or we play “Queen for the Night” and that is fun, too!
  42. He likes to hear me sing.
  43. He reads all my blogs.
  44. When I was having a total meltdown a few years back, he would quote scriptures over me until I could sleep.  He knows hundreds of scriptures.  Sometimes that was the only thing that kept me afloat.
  45. He prays for me.
  46. He hears from God on my behalf and speaks into my heart.
  47. Sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night and hear him praying for our family beside me in bed.  Those moments make me love him more.
  48. He is humble.  He is sometimes too hard on himself.
  49. He is a finisher. 
  50. No matter how hard life gets, he keeps going and…he keeps staying.

Dave turns 50 on March 23.  You can tell him HAPPY BIRTHDAY here at the blog, or here: dave@daverhoades.com

Leaving a Legacy

Dave and I will be joining Mary Jean Powers (www.getthewordout.cc), Dave and Tara Powers,  and Joy McInnis in presenting an Intensive called Leaving a Legacy later this month.  We are passionate about the importance of family and making sure we leave behind eternal things for our children and their children and the generations to come.  In the end, we will all have left our mark.  I know I want to have left more than just a recipe for green chile or Swiss Meatballs (which are pretty amazing, I must say).  I REALLY want to know I have left landmarks that will point my descendants ever toward Jesus Christ.  You’re leaving something…want to make it more purposeful?  Here is your official invitation!  Also see the get the Word Out! website: www.getthewordout.cc

Leaving a Legacy (for moms, dads, grandparents, guardians, mentors, aunts and uncles or anyone who has influence in the life of a child of any age… )

Date: March 27 – March 29
Time: 7pm Friday through 5pm Sunday
Location: Holiday Inn Express – Longmont, CO
Cost: $285 per couple or 2 people per room
$335 after the MARCH 13 DEADLINE
– includes hotel, meals* & materials
* Dinner Saturday is on your own

Every day, our families face challenges, which can lead to conflict and dissolution of relationships.  We need God’s Word as the standard of  Truth in our homes. As parents, grandparents and mentors, we must learn how to share the things the Lord has taught us with the next generation. This Intensive will provide you with a wide range of creative and thought-provoking expressions of your faith. 

REGISTRATION INFO

Registration and payment are available online at www.getthewordout.cc  To register by phone, please call Mary Jean at 303.678.7286.   If you prefer to pay by check or money order, please send to: Get the Word Out / PMB #321 / 1610 Pace Street  Unit 900 / Longmont, CO 80501 .   An offering for GWO will be taken at the conclusion of the intensive.

The Husband. The Friend and Lover.

Our first kiss was like,  fireworks ~ angel choirs ~ intoxicating ~ dizzying.  I am sorry to tell you I cannot really let you re-live that moment with Dave and I, for it was ours alone.  And to talk about it too much would embarrass our children and probably make you blush, but suffice it to say, once our lips met (and many, many times since), I was thoroughly, head-over-heels, giddy, heart-palpitating, screaming inside, flipped out in-love, forever.

And I remember how he reeled me in and made me a Dave-fan for life.  I was serious, untrusting, broken in lots of areas.  I was ready to try to hold him at arm’s length and test his love, his loyalty – dare him to try and stay.  And he?  Would playfully and persistently stay close and relentlessly charm and comfort until he could coax a relaxed smile from me – the one that only came because I knew I could count on him for always.

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He is my Valentine.

Happy Anniversary

Happy Day to Dave and Tara who just celebrated 5 years of love and marriage on Saturday.   And to Rocky and Jovan who are celebrating 2 years tonight.

My kids have married so well.   It is their anniversaries, but I feel so blessed!

 

How Could this Happen?

My initial reactions are rage and disappointment.   My first responses are  deep grief and sadness, even anger. What are you thinking?   What have you done?   What happened?

Yet,  I tread carefully.   I  start to judge you, lash out and condemn you in my mind, but I must not.   Judge not that ye be not judged...It is not my place.   And truthfully, any temptation to judge causes me to see my own sin and failure so vividly,  I dare not go there.   But what is this I feel, this nauseousness, this suffocating ache?

I grieve for the One who has blessed you with every good and spiritual gift, the One who made sure there was  a way out of temptation, though you didn’t appropriate it…I grieve for the one who has walked beside you these many years and made you a better man and brought you honor in the city gates, covering you with her love and grace…I grieve for the three for whom, you having given the devil a foothold, will battle the enemy’s territorial claim on their souls and hearts.   I grieve that you have removed the covering of covenant from your family and the wife of your youth and pitched your tent in enemy territory.   I grieve for the pain of the ripped one-flesh.  

When did sin take such a hold it made sense to you?   Has there been unfinished adolescent business?   Is there a wound you are trying to salve?

How have you justified this in your mind and heart?   How have you calculated the cost, the sadness and the pain on your family, the church, your friends and sphere of influence, and reconciled it as being worth it?

What are you doing, man who has received the full grace of God for so long and in so many ways, son of a holy man, to repair the heart-wrenching, seemingly endless agony you have caused?

I grieve.

And I mourn.

I mourn for the anguish you are bearing, though it is of your own doing.   Sometimes we hurt ourselves more than we do anyone else.   I mourn for the distance you must be feeling right now from Father, though God promised to never leave us or forsake us, we find it hard to look at Him when we have taken an unholy path.   I mourn for the damage this will do to your relationships with the ‘arrows of your quiver’ – your true heritage from God.   I lament over the loss of holy love and weep over the consequences you’ll endure  for your choices, however beautifully graced this may become, there  will be a bitter fruit you must taste.    There  will be  lasting evidence that effects all goings-forward.

On that sunny day in May, so many years ago,   The Message, in Malachi, tells us:

…God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you…God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat.

God is the witness to the union, just as He is the witness on your behalf against the enemy.   He is the One who formed you and created you with His intent in mind.  He created and chose you – do you comprehend the miracle of this?

And so, because I have needed grace so desperately so much in my life, because Jesus has shown us that only he who  is without sin may cast the first stone and that is not me, I am praying for you.   I am praying that you will get wisdom and go after it with all your might!   I am praying you will flee from the enemy and run to the Hiding Place.     I am crying out to God to save you from that enemy, and from yourself (when you are own worst enemy).   I pray you will repent fully and humble yourself under the mighty hand of God.   I pray that you will experience a brokenness that knocks the wind from your body, a crushing that will release the power and presence of God into this situation.   I pray you will let the Truth set you free, no matter how much that hurts or embarrasses you.  

I pray that soon, you will be the free-est man I know, whole and restored, in spite of yourself.

I have you in my heart forever.   You’ll always be the one who refreshed and welcomed me when I needed it so much.   It is not forgotten and I want to offer you the same, with love…Jeanie

NOTE TO SELF:   Isn’t exposing sin and holding each other accountable to God’s grace (even if some one doesn’t want us to)  more important than letting the enemy wreak havoc?   Try to figure this out…