The windows are all smaller now. Modern. The neighbors got closer. Some trees are gone…(googlemaps image)
“How we remember is as important as what we remember.” -Brent Curtis and John Eldredge in The Sacred Romance
“We view the present through the pasts glasses,” -P. Arnold
I don’t have room in my head for everything. For most of my life I had a “continuing -calendar” in my head. You could name a date in my history and I could scroll backwards and tell you, because I could actually “see it” in my mind, what day on which that date occurred, as well as related events and things that stood out from the time surrounding it. I remembered every telephone number I’d ever had, addresses including zip codes (and if you know my moving history, you know this was quite a feat) and remembered birthdays and anniversaries for every relative we had, even “in-laws.”
Then I crashed. I had a system blow-out. The hard-drive in my brain fried. My RAM was so full it exploded. 2006. I became an unwilling recipient of a brain-erase, kinda like “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” but also sort of an emotional lobotomy. It wasn’t pretty. I didn’t want it.
I started a trek to retrieve my lost memories: the good ones, the treasures, the fine times, the blessings. Because keeping a record of absolutely-everything had caused me to melt-down, lose my way, hurt people and feel sick – literally sick. I have to remember to remember blessing sometimes. I have to be reminded to recall the good things, the rich, the treasure.
I HAVE TO REMEMBER With my eyes fixed on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of my faith. He endured and I can endure, too {all things}, for the joy set before me. For all the ways I have failed and sabotaged His call on my life, He has a plan to bring me out and set me right. He is my Story-Writer, my Author. He knows the whole plot-line of my life and it isn’t finished until He says so. He will finish my story - I can’t wait to turn the page!
I CHOOSE TO REMEMBER For the joy set before me. There is life ahead (as there has been so much to be thankful for already!), there is laughter to be shared. If I look back in sorrow I will miss the present. The present is a gift. So, I look back long enough to catch glimpses of the people who still matter and see that we have so much more ahead for us. I joy in the God of my salvation and thank Him for all He has done and I go forward in that strength.
I HAVE TO REMEMBER LIKE A GROWN-UP… because when I was a child, I thought and acted like a child…but now that I have put away childish things, I can see and understand the past more clearly, with the wisdom of years, with understanding and a heck of a lot more grace. I can see that my reactions to some things of the past had some immaturity and needed to be readjusted in my heart. I can, as a grown-up, let some people off the hook, now. It frees both them and me.
I WILL REMEMBER Redemptively – as part of the good work God started in us, which He is being faithful to complete. There is a whole love story being played out. I love seeing how God is able to use the sometimes-shattered fragments of my broken life to create a whole, cool thing. Redemption is awesome.
I WANT TO REMEMBER Aware of the accuser’s distortions of truth, careful to hear the Voice ( “My sheep know my voice”). Some memories are torment. I am asking the Lord to give me clear vision to see when the Accuser has used the past to cripple my present. And to show me what He was seeing when all seemed lost…
I AM COMMITTED TO REMEMBER so that the LORD might be glorified {the prayer God always answers}! He is all, everything and I want my life and my memories to bring Him glory. May He be glorified in my story…
Tools of the trade.
Uncle Rocky pitching to Gav-at-bat. The cheering crowds. DP up to bat.
When I feel the morning grass I let down my guard Because love comes from the dirt in my own backyard Everytime I think I’ve finished being young I catch myself having fun
My husband, Dave, up to bat.
Pepler. Guini and Nonna (me). Gavin hits it!
But the moment passes as the sun moves on So I turn myself back to you… And it’s depressing that I can’t forget the tune the organist played La – da da da da da da, la – da da da da da da…
Dave at bat. The boys taking a breather.
Everytime I think I’ve finished being young I catch myself having fun But the moment passes as the sun moves on So I turn myself back to you Is our season over? No four leaf clover?
Hunter and Gavin will climb anything. Tristan swinging the pipe…as a lefty!
I feel it’s getting colder… But can you still remember? April to November You and I were members Of the best team in baseball So we play our games…
Rocky…Serious about pitching.
Lyrics: Baseball
All of these pictures: by Stormie!
“The lights on my tree, I wish you could see, I wish it everyday.”
I grew up with very traditional Christmas music. The 1960′s were when you could purchase an LP for $1.98 at the supermarket full of all the classic songs like “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” and “A Few of My Favorite Things” by various artists including Johnny Mathis or The Ray Conniff Singers. Occasionally you’d buy an album by a stand-out like Bing Crosby. I still treasure the 2 Christmas records I have by him.
“Merry Christmas, Darling,” by the Carpenters was my first sort of non-traditional Christmas pop-song. I’d hold my dad’s little transistor radio (which I’d snuck from his second dresser drawer) to my ear, and, at barely 11, sing along with Karen, trying with all my heart to understand her longing.
Through the years more and more Christmas music has been added to the songs I love. Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers have produced some great stuff. Lee Greenwood sings a couple that always pierce my heart. The Partridge Family album still makes me laugh and I even enjoy a Motown Christmas. Harry Connick Jr. is great for seasonal cheery tunes as well as some sacred and I do love the 90′s Mariah Carey album. And let’s not forget that Amy Grant, is a Christmas-music genius.
But this year, I am feeling very traditional again. I am reaching back to music I grew up with, the songs my mom played on the Hi-Fi during my early days. I am less about the pop side of Christmas and anything that has been produced since 1970 and on, and sort of loving melodies that have been recorded so many times no one even remembers who did them first (like “Winter Wonderland”) and some that have been recorded a lot but the first recording is all that matters (like “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby).
The cool thing now is, of course, that “Merry Christmas, Darling” is a classic. It IS one of the old tried and true songs of the season. And now I understand the deep sentimentality. For I wish, if I might “have the wish that I wish for tonight,” to gather everyone I love from near and far together during these long, dark winter nights to laugh and remember, to sing and make merry, to be close and bask in the 6-7000 lights on my tree. And we could play Karen and sing…
That I wish you a Merry Christmas
Happy New Year, too
I’ve just one wish on this Christmas Eve
I wish I were with you, I wish I were with you.
Bed space is limited here. So if you are going to come and see me and make my wishes come true, please call in advance.
pictured: The Moslander family Christmas card, 1968. Jeanie, Joey, Timmy, Tammy and Danny (Love love love to my siblings! Please note: I was reading from The Children’s Book of Knowledge – which is why you are all so successful and smart. You may thank me with a very nice Christmas gift.)
