We are nearing the end of the book, The Sacred Romance~Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by John Elderidge and Brent Curtis. We have all been reading the book and jotting down our reactions and thoughts to share with you. I am glad to know some of you have read the book along with us and even though you didn’t necessarily wish to “tell all” via the blog, it has been good to hear how God has reaffirmed His love to you through the reading. If you want to re-cap where we started and see how far we have come during our “summer romance”, just click on the “Sacred Romance” category link on the left, or here to get you started.
Candi picks up at Chapter 10: I’ve been away from The Sacred Romance for awhile. Not THE Sacred Romance, but the book. In fact, although I’ve been out of the book I have completely had THE Sacred Romance on my mind the whole time. As I reread Chapter 10 (I’ve read it about 4 times now) I’m realizing that I AM starting to view things differently, from a different perspective. It is all about “wondering what God is up to in all of this.” Pg 145.
I’m ready for the Journey. From Pg. 149, “So much of the journey forward involves a letting go of all that once brought us life. We turn away from the familiar abiding places of the heart, the false selves we have lived out, the strengths we have used to make a place for ourselves and all our false loves, and we venture forth in our hearts to trace the steps of the One who said, ‘Follow me.’ In a way, it means that we stop pretending: that life is better than it is, that we are happier than we are, that the false selves we present to the world are really us.”As I prepare for the journey (finally!) I’m looking back at the many times I’ve desired to go on it but for various reasons have not completely surrendered to it. I’m starting to analyze past situations, relationships, thoughts, “Nits”, and my roles in them for what many of them really were, but I’m also asking what God’s real purpose is in all of this. It’s really been a path to discovery more than a hard road. And it’s all leading me to Jesus!
About 3 years ago I started realizing that my focus for salvation was for what I could get (the streets of gold!) rather than really desiring and fostering a relationship with God. A dear spiritual teacher (MaryJean!) gave me this and I pass it along because it really was the beginning to my Sacred Romance with Jesus:
It’s not help I need – It’s the helper.
It’s not comfort I need – It’s the comforter.
It’s not teaching I need – It’s the teacher.
It’s not provision I need – It’s the provider.
It’s not protection I need – It’s the defender.
It’s not strength I need – It’s the strong one.
I don’t need to get a life; I need life, HIMSELF.
On Chapter 11: Now I find myself at a time of desert communion. I understand this as the path that I’ve been on from reading this. Had I written on this a month ago I wouldn’t have had much application. Just this past month my husband and I have completely stepped out of ministry at our church. A couple years ago our church faced a “perfect storm” scenario that if it wasn’t for God’s will and power I know it may not have survived. At times like this God calls you to help man the ship although you may not be the best sailor. You do the best you can through obedience knowing that He will provide the sails. Well, through God’s glory there has been much healing and the church is sailing on much more secure waters.
My husband and I were still a part of the crew. However, we were still feeling caught up in the “doing” of it all. I was trying to seek God in the aftermath, but too busy to really hear Him. Isn’t it funny we were “doing” church things? And so, for our various reasons we have stopped everything. In this break, I’m asking myself, “Is my identity synonymous with activity?” Pg. 163. “Am I experiencing my spiritual life not as a love affair, but as burdensome, heavy, exhausting and alien?” Pg. 165.
Jesus’ answer is this:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:28-30)
“Only Christ can carry us to rest. The kinds of ‘doing’s’ we have learned are not weighty enough to allow us to walk in the spiritual fields of the kingdom of God.” Pg. 169.
My next destination on my journey, I now know, is to “give up everything else but Him. We experience the freedom of knowing that he simply loves us where we are. We begin to just be, having our identity anchored in him. We begin to experience our spiritual life as the ‘easy yoke and light burden’ Jesus tells us is his experience.” Pg. 175.
Lord, I pray that I am always “hearing” your soft whisper and in turn whispering back to you. Forgive me for not always making our desert communion the focus of my spiritual walk, and instill in me a repentant attitude. Bring healing, rest, focus, and peace at this time, so I can serve once again with my whole heart to glorify your Name.
My turn on Chapter 11 (Jeanie): This chapter is about learning to rest in God and His unbridled love for us as we follow Christ’s own tradition (as well as early church “Desert Fathers”) to pull away from the restlessness and activity of life into the “spiritual disciplines of silence, solitude, meditation (heart prayer), fasting and simplicity” (Mark Buchanan includes these in his “holy habits” in the book, Your God is too Safe).
The author talks about that place when you really stop for just a minute, when you have pulled your heart away from your adrenalin-addicted, activity captivity and your heart tells you how truly tired and burdened and worn down you are. He said, “…it is of no use to ask God to give us energy to make our way back up the cliff over which we have fallen.” I had to laugh at that because I have tried. Lord knows I have prayed and prayed (God, heal me, give me energy to do kingdom work, yada yada yada) and made all my friends pray it, too!
But I love the prayer in the book, “Jesus, help me. All my lovers have failed me. Forgive me. I cannot quench my thirst. Give me the water of life.” It is prayer God can answer in the deep places of our hearts. And He’ll tell us, “Go, and sin no more.”
I’ve most recently been overwhelmed in the tiniest beginning of understanding about the Father-Heart of God towards me. And in that, God is practically leading me through verdant woodlands of his love, green lush life and babbling brooks of refreshment, a recognition that all He has is mine because, and simply because, I am His child. He is a few steps ahead and spreading the branches so I can navigate this place of purity and life. I keep getting glimpses, as He is calling me toward Himself, right over here, Jeanie, come on, and I can see my true homeland just beyond in fleeting moments. Just a few more steps and I may actually get this thing…
But I backslide. I slide back into thinking I need to impress Him with my righteousness or my work for Him or by “paying my own way.” Wait – the branches just moved. He keeps wooing me. My Father loves me. It is OK for me to go into the desert with Him. It is OK not to have an answer when some one wonders what all I have been “doing” for Him. He calls us to the Secret Place.
I so enjoyed the author’s word pictures describing the intimate and wild-love of the Song of Solomon in direct contrast to the imaginary couple at a sidewalk cafe, where as the bride-to-be is talking about her excitement for the upcoming wedding and how she can’t wait to get to know her lover better and be with him more and experience true intimacy, he, a cad, tells her, “I’ll send you a book that describes more about my life. I’m sure you’ll get a lot out of it,” and “…I’d like to send you to a weekend seminar [about intimacy with me] and that should be very helpful.” The writers pointed out that that is the way we very often carry on our love affair with God. When in reality, the conversation would be more like that in The Song of Songs, which everybody knows is some pretty hot talk! But on page 161 when the writer is explaining that God isn’t giving us this glimpse through the bedroom window at the love affair between Solomon and the Queen of Sheba just to be voyeuristic (but rather to realize that “this is the kind of passion He feels for us and desires from us in return”), I had to laugh!
It turns out I am, indeed, the Queen of Sheba! Spiritually speaking, of course, and you are, too!