Vacuuming Seems So Redundant


I use a Hoover.  My grandpa was a longtime Hoover vacuum salesman and Hoover shop owner (they had lots of home appliances, actually).  So, it pretty much doesn’t matter what bells and whistles and pretty colors I see in the vacuum cleaner aisle.  If there is a Hoover in that aisle, I will naturally assume it is of better quality than the others, regardless of what Consumer Reports may say.  I’m a Hoover girl.  I come by it naturally.

Ah, yes – I love those vacuum-cleaning-machines.  I salivate in the vacuum cleaner aisle like a Mad Men character in an early 1960’s car showroom (the show on AMC, you know?).  But I hate vacuuming.  Seriously.

My friend, Corky, whose 7-year-old carpet looks as if it was just installed yesterday, told me that you have to go v e e e e e e e r r r r r y slowly over each section 5 to 10 times.  Doing so, he promises, will make your carpet stay just like new for at least 30 years.  But?  I have a life outside vacuuming, you know?  This is not to imply Corky doesn’t, but his carpet is looking pretty good…

I actually do employ his method just before I use the shampooer.  Maddeningly, Corky is right.  When I do this, Dave walks through the room and will inevitably say something like, “Wow-the carpet sure looks nice now that you have shampooed it,” positively unaware that the (Hoover) shampooer has not yet been used.  Grrrr.  Or maybe he is just trying to avoid the “honey-could-you-come-and-run-the-shampooer” call?  As if.

I am seriously shopping for the vacuum cleaner that just sits in the middle of the room, but but you flip the switch and it sucks every dust and dirt particle (and all the grass and bits and pieces my mangy dog drags in) from the room straight into it – without me having to stand there and go back and forth, back and forth over the very same areas I just vacuumed last month!! 

Just kidding – I do it more often than that!

Honestly, if I could get one of those vacuum-robots that could walk up the stairs, too, even if it were a Eureka or Dirt Devil, I’d get it!

Hoover, can you hear me?…Jeanie

NOTE TO SELF: Investigate – when did vacuum become a verb as well as a noun?

pictured: a Hoover, google image

4 thoughts on “Vacuuming Seems So Redundant

  1. You don’t need one that can walk up the stairs… just one for the upstairs and one for the downstairs…

    Or, alternately, multiple children capable of pushing the vacuum.

    I clearly employ the second method. :)

  2. I actually want it to vacuum the carpeted stairs! I do have 2 vacuums, yet they always end up on the same level??!!! How does that happen, anyway?!

  3. You should ask Elise about the day she learned (the hard way) how to vacuum a livingh room…I don’t think ti is a day she will ever forget. :)

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