Last summer I attended the very first partners and prayer support team meeting for the fledgling Worship and the Word Movement ministry in which my son-in-law, Dave, and daughter, Tara, were embarking. God has opened all sorts of doors for them in the ensuing year. In 2 days, they leave for Orlando, where they will lead worship and teach at Life 2007 to 10,000 students. Good things are happening.
And I reflect on it because at the gathering last summer, Dave and Tara led a song Dave had written called, "Yes" (CD by the same title to be released in September) I had never heard it and I was in a really, really difficult time of my life and to tell you the truth, I couldn't sing it. It seemed at the time I had nothing to say "yes" to (I've written about this previously here and here). I looked around the barn on this beautiful summer evening and saw all these sincere faces with pure hearts, steadfast in their commitment to follow Jesus no matter what and they sang, "Yes!" And I couldn't. I felt like God had taken everything from me there was to say "yes" to and that I alone had nothing to throw myself into.
With bittersweet tears shooting out, I said to a couple of my kids, "What? I am suppose to say 'yes' to rest? What is that?"
I'm telling you this by way of confession because I hope you know that it wasn't true that I had nothing to say "yes" to. I hope you know that I was placing myself in a pity-puddle of the refusal to accept pause and rest as gift. And I am confessing this in case you are reading and feeling the same. Make your list and come out of the fog. Wait until the house is empty and start yelling, "YES!" into the air and refuse to believe the enemy lie that there is nothing more.
Here's my list: yes to being Dave's wife, friend, lover, bride; yes to grandparenting Gavin and Guini and Hunter and now Gemma; yes to the friendship and "being there" and mothering, still, the grown kids God blessed me with; yes to blessing the parents who raised me; yes to hanging in there with friends and pursuing life-giving relationships; yes to loving my neighbors and figuring out how that really works; yes to consuming His Words, like honey to my lips; yes to pressing in to really know God; and yes to laying down my desires, wants amd wishes – He must increase, I must decrease. Yes!The days are coming: "Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won't be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once – and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills….God, your God says so." Amos 9.13-15 The Message
YES! What promise! Somewhere along the way, hope re-ignited. I came across this in my early 2007 journaling:Yes to You, Lord Yes to Your will Yes to Your plan Yes to the process, regardless of how long it will take (a lifetime, Lord?) Yes to the pain of this purification Yes to the price (because it costs everything) Yes.
I love that "Yes" song now and sing my head off whenever Dave and Tara lead it. "Yes, yes, yes, yes…"
Yes is better. Jeanie
NOTE TO SELF: This quote by Dag Hammarskjold seems appropriate here: "For all that has been, Thanks! To all that shall be, Yes!"