Cold Shoulder

Cold shoulder, cold nose, cold fingers, cold toes.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…a cold front is taking its’ sweet time passing through Colorado.  Some people even got a snow dusting yesterday.  We didn’t see any, but omygoodness: COLD!

The high today isn’t even going to be over 40 degrees, I bet, and the power companies are watching with glee as those heat-meters crank up full steam in this stretch of days before the sun comes back out and rights this ridiculous infringement of a wintry blast on our pretty fall.

But not me.  In spite of Dave’s pleading (he even tried to sway me by telling me our aged dog was freezing), I refuse to turn on the heat.   I am fully aware  that it is fifty.eight.freezing-degrees in here.  Yes, that is right – IN our house – 58-degrees!  But there are other ways to get through these days.  I am resolved!

Here is how not to turn on the heat when it’s freezing in Denver:

{1}

Wear more clothes even in the house.  Seems simple enough, but us Denver-ites never-ever pack away our shorts and flip-flops: NEVER.  We will likely need them on Christmas eve because it will be so dang hot.  But for the next 3 or 4 days, wear socks with shoes and layer up and put on a hat.  Yes, in your house.  It will keep you warm.

You can see I truly do practice these suggestions.  Demonstrated here by a photo of Gemma May and Averi-J last January.  “Yea, we’re just hanging at Nonna’s, freezing our little buns off, doing some artwork.”

{2}

Make yourself a rice sock.  What?!  Haven’t discovered the beauty of a rice-sock?  Well, I think Jovan taught me about them, but it is simply this: you take the longest tube sock you can fine, fill it about 75% full of good-old-white rice.  Secure the end tightly with a rubber band or ponytail holder (warning:: Do NOT use a twistt-tie with a metal center to close the sock…don’t ask me how I know).  Then you pop it in the microwave for a couple of minutes and and this wonderful, hot, flexible rice-filled sock gets wrapped around your neck and heats you up.  It is wondrous.  I would have forgotten this amazing thing if it had not been for a pulled muscle in my neck.  How serendipitous for me that the strained muscle coincided with this current cold-front.  Dave and I were watching Judge Judy the other night and he was like, “It’s freezing – do you think we should turn on the heat?”

“If you tell the truth you don’t have to have a good memory!!!!!!!”

That was Judge Judy’s voice, not mine.  My response was, with the 2 blankets, a hoodie and my rice-sock, “Honey, it feels perfectly toasty in here.  Why would we want to jump the gun and turn on the heat?”

NOTE:  On heating the rice sock in the micro, repeat as needed.

{3}

Toast for dinner.  Put in your bread and crowd around the toaster soaking up the rising, excess heat.  Eat lots of bread.

WARNING:  those of you with that gluten thing should not try this without your doctor’s permission.

{4}

And on kitchen activities, suddenly become Julia Child or Jamie Oliver or the Barefoot Contessa (who has the sense to be wearing shoes today, btw) and start baking and cooking your head off just for the love of being a gourmet.  You can pretend you always spend your Saturdays making a months’ worth of freezer meals because you love your family so much, and just happen to keep warm while you’re at it!

{5}

Use some one else’s heat.  Time to visit a neighbor or relative, one of those poor saps that couldn’t hold out and already turned on their heat.  They’re paying an arm and a leg for it so you may as well use it!

{6}

Afternoon Delight.  “Rubbin’ sticks -n- stones together makes the sparks ignite.”  I realize you kind of have to be from the 70s to understand this life-saving tip, but suffice it to say that cuddling = warmth.  That is enough about that.

{7}

Convert to Catholicism and spend the day in prayer at your altar of candles.  I won’t  turn on the heat, but Dave did haul in some of those candles he bought at Target for 38-cents 2 years ago.  Nabbed about 30 of them and I may have shook my head at him then, but look who is the hero now!  We’re just praying our heads off and toasty!

Those are my tips for going as long as possible without turning on your furnace.

Oh wait – Sandy-the-Dog says I missed the most obvious of all: cuddle with the family pet.  Naturally.

 

 

8 thoughts on “Cold Shoulder

  1. LOVE.this.post!! We succumbed and turned the heat on yesterday, but it was only 30 something here…pretty darn chilly! Lots more snow today. Totally agree with #’s 4 and 6! :) You’re adorable as always…

  2. We tried this year. We really did! When we woke up and the house was 58 degrees, I caved. (I failed, but my family thanked me nonetheless!) …and truth is I am ALWAYS COLD!!!

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