So when you're out in the woods beyond corn fields in the middle of rural Missouri – there is really no sense in putting on your cute platform shoes for the whole 34-person family reunion picture – especially when ultimately, they won't even show. But it was my summer vacation. I threw caution to the wind and did it anyway.
Running back to the cabin to make sure nothing on the stove was burning, it happened. It's almost like slow-motion. I felt a twig begin to roll under my extremely cute shoe. Once the motion begins – there is no turning back.
The twig under my left foot rolled the full length from front to back and I knew I was going to flip backwards. But something in the human body screams, "NO! You must not go backwards and crack your head open." So I landed forwards on my hands and knees. I have no idea how. I only know that perhaps cracking my head open and going permently goofy may have been less painful.
By the time I came to a very abrupt stop, I had sprained my right ankle, fractured my left knee and gotten whiplash (my head heavier than I ever imagined). For one month now, I have had to elevate, compress, ice, heat, wrap, rest, and repeat as needed. I even had to spend 4 hours in the emergency room back home 2 1/2 weeks after the fall because of the blasted swelling (have you ever seen a foot as big as a watermelon?) and my appendages turning black (nothing serious, folks – just internal bleeding settling).
Dave quipped, "Well, this will be the first of many falls to come, I'm sure," referring, I believe, to 'old-age' falls. If I could catch him, I'd smack him.
So, for the past month you could usually find me with my head in an over-the-door traction contraption, popping ibuprofen like its going out of style and loving Vicadin like a good friend. But, I bet no one else got to come home from their vacation this year and spend day after day with their feet up, taking it easy!?
Watch your path for twigs, beware of platforms…Blessings, Jeanie
NOTE TO SELF: All is vanity