My friend Liz sent me this wonderful information which, if followed closely, will really make the mammogram much less traumatic. I dedicate this to my daughters who have yet to find out…
Many women are anxious about mammograms, but there is no need to worry. In a few minutes a day, right in the comfort of your own home during the week preceding the examination, you can become totally prepared, alleviating much fear of the unknown. Just follow these simple exercises.
- Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in the door.
- Shut the door as hard as possible; lean on it for good measure.
- Hold that position for 5 seconds
- Repeat – just in case the first time wasn’t effective.
- Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the concrete most closely resembles your mammogram technician’s hands and all medical tools and equipment.
- Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of your car.
- Ask a friend or your husband to slowly back up the car until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
- Turn over and repeat with other breast.
- Freeze 2 metal bookends overnight.
- Strip to the waist.
- Invite a stranger into the room to make small talk.
- Ask said stranger to place one of your breasts between the bookends and to press as hard as he/she can. Now the other side.
- Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
Are you women out there doing your monthly self-checks??!
Blessings and laughter! Jeanie
NOTE TO SELF: Liz’s email also said “A friend is like a good bra…Hard to find, supportive, comfortable, always lifts you up, never lets you down or leaves you hanging and is always close to your heart.” Forget the friend – where can I find such a bra?!