I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now
Today, I choose Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant. It is totally not meant for Advent, since the secondary title is “Mary’s Song,” but it is very prayerful. That seems to be the theme with me lately. That seems to be the state I am in: prayerfulness.
Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me
And it isn’t the public kind, all flowery with beautiful words coming from my well-developed church vocabulary (churchish is my native language). It isn’t the authoritative supplications of an anointed intercessor born to change the world with loud and powerful sentences while pacing platforms in decided strides. That isn’t the kind of prayerfulness I am in, though I have done my share of those.
It’s the closet kind, in a whisper. It’s the kind the Father and only the Father can hear. It’s the slave of Romans 8 collapsing, finally into the arms of his Adopter , his Abba, realizing fear has no place – safe. I am HIS child. His.
It is that kind of prayer. Crying out to that kind of Father – the kind that sees me as a joint heir with the Savior of the universe: even me ~ a sinner, flawed and fearful, a bundle of weirdness and insecurity, a weakling, a moaner, an anxious worrier, a broken vessel, a liar, a cheat, a thief…I have to confess it all and plead for mercy. It’s safe because He is Mercy. And He is my Father. These are the times to run to Him, to Him, not away. The papers are signed, adoption final. I am His daughter.
And I search His face for signs He is disappointed in His choice. And from this very close and prayerful vantage point, there are none. I am His.
Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven, Breath of Heaven
Take a few minutes to observe Advent today, with a prayerful song.