You don’t just get to be a mom without the help of some pretty incredible people to help you out. On Mother’s Day, I always think tribute should be given to the people who made you a mom. I have never been one to need breakfast in bed or a dozen roses of thanks with a Hallmark card, really, though those are sweet things. But I sure like being with the people who afforded me the privilege and title of “mom.” Time. Yes. Loved them way back when (before I could even know who they would be but I just knew God had entrusted their tiny to-be-discovered little lives to me). Love them more, and o-so-proud-of-them all, today.
I loved having babies, which is why I kept at it so vigorously for those, ya know, almost 7 years. There was honestly something so regal in carrying a child within. I sensed, very keenly, during pregnancy, the unbridled blessing of the Lord, the trust He had placed in me to carry destiny, to harbor safely within: some one, a person, my heritage from Him – a baby who would grow up to be His. At each child’s dedication, I solemnly renewed in my heart to honor the Lord by giving my babies to Him. Write Your Name on their hearts, Lord, I would pray, knowing that more than they were mine, they were His.
It is a sobering realization
With the way I failed so many times, at being everything a good mom should be, the kind they speak of in songs and greeting cards, it amazes me still, that I was entrusted with so many and such an above-average group, at that. I think I got points for making sure they had such a great daddy, or something? Nonetheless, I was blessed, so blessed beyond deserving.
And I have often heard it said that God gives you the parents you needed, which, except in the case of parents who choose cruelty, who abandoned without thought the preciousness of the child placed in their care, this may be true. But it seems more true that God gives you the child you need (with 5, I must have been very needy). For they bring a piece of your heart, a part of everything you were born to be – when you didn’t even know it was missing. And suddenly, you’re a mommy. And though they grew there, nurtured in your womb, and then became their own, leaving that safe place, they somehow left you more whole than before.
So, on Mother’s Day, thank-you to Tara & Stephie, Dessa & Rocky and the baby, Storm-kins for making me a mom and for turning out so darn great in spite of me and maybe a little because of me. I hope my deep love covers anything that needs it and will last in your heart way past the days I here to remind you of it – all the way to the end.
Tara – you taught me that God loved me and believed in me even when and especially when I did not deserve His mercy. You were a gift straight from heaven for my heart, joy that I had never had, and a stamp of approval I was almost too embarrassed to receive. Having you was my yes to God. Yes to You for all times and all ways. This is when I knew I was in for keeps (I am my beloveds and He is mine) and not just because of who my parents were. This is when I met the same God Hagar had discovered in a desolate place: the God who sees. I saw Him. And He saw me and placed love in my arms. Joy-in-the-morning!
Stephanie –you taught me that God is a healer and that he hears us when we pray. You were not just the only baby we actually “planned” to have ~ all the rest were delightful surprises and unexpected-but-cherished gifts. But you, you were the one I had to fight the enemy for. You were the baby that caused me to grow up and stand my ground against the thief. You were the one that introduced me to agonizing like Hannah before the Lord “For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted my petition made to him.” And He did, oh yes He did. And you were worth it, Stephanie. You are worth it…
Tredessa – everything about you, from your conception to your even-in-toddler-hood deep love for the Word and things of God when you could barely walk or talk caused awe and wonder in us. You have challenged me to know Him more, to press in no matter what. Where I had been a strong-willed, hard-headed, bull-dozer of a kid to try to be heard, you came quietly, but with such a deep dignity and strength of spirit. Your reliance on the Lord has taken you around the world and keeps you close to home. You are the wit and wisdom of your grandparents, the brains and ability of all who have come before you and deep treasure of the strong love of your parents for each other, for you. You are all this and so much more…
Rocky –to us a child was born, a son was given. You were such a surprise after 3 girls. You carry the name of our family, of all we have been and yet are to be. You got your dad’s good looks and my fire-y personality. You carry your grandpa’s zeal and your great-grandpa’s strength of character. You embody the strong work ethic from which you come and make us proud, so proud to call you son. But you carry a song from the Holy Spirit, and a heart to give God praise and you are called by the One who has shared you with us for paths all your own, yet to be discovered, exciting for us to watch. You are my beloved son, in whom I am so so so well pleased.
Stormie –you came in gentleness. You are the heart of your daddy and you remind me so much of Jesus in John 13 when he was ina room full of disciples and no one would serve. And because He knew who He was and where He had come from and where he was headed, He just tied the towel around His waist and washed their feet. And baby girl, you have served the Lord and the people you love in selflessness and rich beauty and you are all the more ravishing for it. It is your honor, your bejewelment, it is the dazzling beauty of who you are in the room. You were the icing on my cake, the cherry on top, the greatest (the servant of all) for last…
The past couple of weeks
These are some photos and video from 2 or 3 “family times” these past couple of weeks. This song and these images are a tiny, delicious slice of the great smile-pie of my life! This is Dave + me + the five + their loves + 6 chubby-cheeked sweetie-pie honey-bunches-of-oats grandbebes. Mi familia. Because of a blessing-giving God…
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ME!
1 Samuel 1 “Oh, my lord! As your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood by you here praying to the Lord.
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted my petition made to Him.
Therefore I have given him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is given to the Lord. And they worshiped the Lord there.
Best thing I ever did as a mommy?
Give you back to the One who gave you to me. As long as you live, you are in my heart, but you are His.